I have grown to love Facebook, posting lots of pictures and comments along with the rest of you, sharing my world and having a glimpse into yours. There's so much to love about it for a social butterfly like me. But lately I am at a loss at what to post that could represent what is going on in my life as it is right now. Not only as a mom of six, and all the different ages and stages of children (some of them adults), a grandmother, a member of the "Sandwich-Generation", an ex-wife and wife, a sister, a daughter...but also as a student midwife, determined to make 2016 my last year of schooling so that I can take my exam and get my license to practice midwifery.
Many of the moments I’d love to share are nowhere to be found in the camera app on my trusty Iphone. They are moments that my eyes have had the glory of seeing, where being in the moment and present to it, would have been destroyed or impossible to experience if I grabbed my device and taken a pic. I am content in that, knowing that my witnessing in itself has etched a memory into my heart that is more felt than anything. Moments that grow me from the inside out and change my DNA for the better.
So to that end, some of the most profound and glorious moments i have ever experienced as a human life on this planet have no corresponding photographs. Sometimes I have to admit that I do wish you could see some of the things that I get to see doing this crazy “job”....
Especially those of you who are angry, heartbroken, depressed, confused. Some of the things I've seen will give you true hope in humanity. (I think we all have moments in which we are not sure about us humans these days!) A wonderful supported human entrance into the world is an amazing antidote to anger, fear and frustration.
Becoming a licensed midwife is not just my calling or my business and additional income stream sometime in the future. It’s become my obsession. There is nothing else I think of (besides my family) to such a great degree these days. My closest comrades are women and men I work with who all share this crazy passion. Together we are a willing audience to discuss placentas and babies, vaginas and umbilical cords, partners and uteruses, hospital and home births, breastmilk and sleep deprivation, being on call and juggling it all.
It’s a life of sacrifice and dedication. I never considered myself particularly disciplined. However,midwifery is a discipline I've been forced to succumb to, if I want to continue to revel in its deep beauty. It is molding me, yet again so that I can be of service to it. It’s a strict taskmaster with high rewards and great responsibility. It’s the one thing I know how to do that I truly believe makes this planet a better place to be on